Sunday, October 18, 2009

Things I learned on Fall Break this year

(In no particular order .....)

1. I am really friggin' out of shape.

1a. There are a lot of stairs at Great Wolf Lodge. Most of them go up, which is unfortunate for people who are really friggin' out of shape.

1b. Don't complain about lines to get on water slide rides, because that might be the only chance you get to catch your breath in between the exhausting treks up the stairs, over and over and over.

2. You should check to see if your swimsuit bottoms have a hole in them BEFORE you wear them on vacation.

3. The weight of four ("well-fed", in the words of one of my friends) adults on the Tornado makes an AWESOME difference in the amount of sweet air you catch in the funnel.

3a. Remind me next time I go to Great Wolf to only invite people who are much larger than me ..... its a tad embarrassing for the skinny-minnie lifeguard to place you in the "fat" seat in the tube each time, and put the tiny children on either side of you to "balance out the weight of the tube" ......... whatever.

4. If you get thirsty enough, you will drink regular Dr. Pepper instead of diet, and not even bat an eye at the extra calories, because you know you will burn them off on the stinking stairs.

5. After leaving Great Wolf Lodge, and driving to visit friends in Dallas ..... A friend who has two boxes of Milk Duds waiting on your pillow at her house, and a case of Diet Dr. Pepper in her fridge, is a true friend, indeed.

6. Texans take 7-yr old football very seriously.

7. 8-yr old, too.

8. But when your friend's sons both win their games, and the sun is shining and the temperature is perfect, it is an awesome way to watch a football game. And although I realize the coaches take it very seriously (and maybe some of the parents, too, I'm just saying) and I doubt they would agree with me, I still say at that age, "cute" is the appropriate adjective to describe the game. Although "undefeated" is a nice adjective, as well.

8a. Much better than being at the Cotton Bowl yesterday, anyway.

9. Don't kid yourself that "who cares what I look like on the drive home, it's not like I'm going to see anyone I know."

9a. When three young men stop you at a gas station on I-35 and comment on your sweatshirt, telling you that they graduated from the same high school, that will be cool.

9b. Then they will tell you that they graduated in 2004, and you will abruptly and hurtfully realize that you are older than dirt and be quite depressed about yourself for a while.

9c. Then you will eat the two boxes of Milk Duds and not be so depressed anymore.

10. Halogen headlights should be outlawed.

(I realize that number 10 kind of came out of nowhere, but my gosh, those things are obnoxious shining into your eyes on the highway ---- obnoxious!!)

11. "I Love You, Man!" is just as funny the second time around.

(Yeah, number 11 kind of came out of nowhere, too, but who doesn't love Paul Rudd?)

12. More than Paul Rudd, I love mini-vacations. How many days until Fall Break 2010? And who wants to join us at Great Wolf Lodge?


Mamasita said...

Sounds like great fun! Can I come next year? I will bring DDP!

I think I have mentioned this before, but we cannot let Kellen and my youngest ever find each other and get married because our grandchildren would be see-through. When Miranda sucks in, she can make herself be less than 2 inches thick from the side view. Nevermind she eats more than the rest of us. It's not fair to have that kind of metabolism.

And yes, walking and sweating totally negates any calories acquired from a regular soda. Totally.

Anonymous said...

9B struck a chord with me. We have teachers at our school that graduated with my son (2003). And twice over the summer, it was assumed I was a grandma. Aagghh! I'm only 47. And my butt is too big to fit comfortably in the seats at our High school auditorium. I think that's because they were made in the 70's when we were all skinny.
Sheila in MN

Anonymous said...

We took our family vacation in Wisc Dells, WI this summer (the water park capital of America). We stayed at the Great Wolf there & yep, lots of stairs! Also, the hole in the swimsuit comment had me laughing out loud. I spent most of an afternoon swimsuit shopping while on vacation. = )
Also, no calories count when you're on vacation.
I'd love to meet you for vacation next year, I love that tornado slide, but need my hubby to carry the tube. For me that was worse than the stairs.

Rachel in ND

Tammy said...

See thats what I get for not reading your blog since last Tues. You were in town and I could of come out to GWL and met you in your bathing attire, lol! Kidding, would of loved to meet you thou, I only live 15 min. away from Grapevine! Maybe next year. Glad you had fun!

vgsmom said...

Love it!! So glad you had a great trip. Why wait until next fall break?

Anonymous said...

This post was so funny! I'm sitting in my living room alone laughing ha! :)
Love your blog!


Anonymous said...

Kristie!!! Just saw your phot on Awkward Family photos....the easter bunny one! Wow! How fun!!!

Rachael J.

Cathy said...

Awkward Family Photos!

Anonymous said...

We do, we do! And there is one just a few hours from here. I say let's try that one! :) Kim

jean said...

Talk about feeling old... Jessica Simpson's mom was on QVC last night & referred to the 80s as 'vintage'. I wanted to reach through the tv & strangle her!

Renee said...

Thanks for adding us to your break!! You guys are the best. And what do you mean we take football too seriously? Hello - aren't they ALL NFL bound?????? Love the pictures......

karen said...

Sounds like you had fun...I will come next year and then you won't be the so called fat one anymore.

And why can't they put in escalators or something for us to get to the top of those slides...I mean really.

RSMDianne said...

Oh my gosh, just read the comments for the Easter Bunny pic at AFP...hysterical. She seems to have turned ok, though, hasn't she? No irrational fear of bunnies?

Cate said...

You made Awkward Family Photos! You've met Pioneer Woman! I so want to be you. Except for the Oklahoma and mom jeans part. ; )

Trish in Leesburg, VA said...

Love the pictures! Wish we lived closer cause I would so be in for 2010! And #10 is totally true- I hate those things!